Katherine Harris (1957 - )

Best known to the American public at large for a highly controversial decision made during Florida's disputed vote count during the 2000 election and for combining more colors to the female face than typically exist in the visible spectrum, Florida's one-time State Attorney General began her career amidst the kind of scandal we're coming to expect from the current bush league of amateur hour neo-conservative machiavellis.

 

I don't know, maybe there's something to it after all...

Her 1994 election to the State Senate - itself one of the most expensive campaigns ever undertaken in Florida - was partially bankrolled by Riscorp Inc. (ILLEGALLY bankrolled, as a matter of fact, according to federal prosecutors, who hauled five members of Riscorp's board to the white-collar pokey). In return for their larcenous largesse, Riscorp not only ended up on the receiving end of beneficial legislation sponsored by Harris, but one of their competitors was specifically targetted by that same legislation.

 

And because this kind of sleazy, back-alley politics wouldn't be complete without a slathering of blatant hypocrisy, Harris' 1999 campaign for State Attorney General involved accusing her opponent of taking bribes. BONG! That's the bell of what-the-fuck. BONG! it rings proudly over Florida to this day ...

 

Her Face Is Scary

As State Attorney General - an office primarily intended to handle internal affairs - Harris racked up more than a hundred thousand dollars worth of travel to Rio de Janeiro, the Barbados and Australia on the taxpayer's dollar. If it would have kept her out of the country following the election, I personally would have matched that total to keep her overseas.

 

Following the contentious election, Harris - a former co-chair of George W Bush's election campaign and an outspoken supporter of the then-governor's campaign¹ - called the electoral votes for the state of Florida in favor of Bush. Despite the fact that votes were still being tallied. Despite the fact that there were (and remain) serious questions about the ballots being employed in the election. Despite the fact that Harris' office itself had struck 8,000 voters - largely black, as a strange happenstance - from the books and therefore denied them their right to vote.

 

The Florida State Supreme Court overturned Harris' decision, and then were themselves overtured by the much larger, more scary [Supreme Court} of the United States. On the other hand, at least none of them had to wear that much makeup.

 

 

Her Face Is Totally Scary, Really

Scandal continued to dog Harris, but that's only because she kept doing illegal things and lying.

 

In 2004, she claimed - attempting to bolster flagging support of the administration's anti-terrorism tactics - that an unidentified Middle Eastern man had been caught and arrested attempting to sabotage an Indiana power grid. If you were wondering, no, this never actually happened. Chalk it up to phantom terror attacks.

 

In 2005 and 2006, Harris was involved with defense contractor MZM Inc, which was also targetted by Federal prosecutors on bribery charges. Following several large donations and dinner with MZM founder Mitchell Wade, Harris pushed for a federal defense contract that greatly benefitted MZM. BONG! It keeps on ringing ...

 

Seriously, Her Face Is Super-Scary

On at least two occasions, including an appearance of Sean Hannity's ABC Radio program, Harris accused the media of having colorized the photographs of her gaudily-daubed-with-tincture phiz. This from the woman who wears blue eyeshadow with red lisptick and pink blush. THERE'S NO GOOD WAY TO LIGHT THAT, LADY².

 

In her defense, she apparently has great huge jugs.

 

Sources:

Harris for Senate

Katherine Harris' Wikipedia Entry

 

 

¹ "I am thrilled and honored to announce my support of George W. Bush for the presidency."

² Except "...on fire," I suppose.

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